I don’t know how I got you, life is completely surreal. I know that I deserve this though, and I hope this stays as perfect as it is now. 

We probably could have been really good friends, but you made me doubt my good judgement in people.  I will forever question peoples motives thanks to you.

When I look back at pictures of you I can’t help but be shocked at what a baby you are. The fact that we were ever together is both mysterious and disturbing. I can’t even remember what it was like to hold hands with you, let alone to share a bed with you. We used to know everything about each other, and you are still the only person I have shared many things with. I miss your house, I miss your family, and I miss feeling loved and cherished. We both needed each other so badly for that year, and I know for a fact that we would not be where we are now without each other. Sometimes I wish I could get inside your head and hear what you thought about me, what you had thought about us, know your thoughts and feelings again, I know your mind would scare me. 

I’m trying not to be mad because I don’t even think you realize what you did. This is as difficult as trying to pretend that you didn’t see a christmas present too early. I never ever thought that we could have secrets like this. I know that your mind is full of thoughts I will never know, but this effects me so directly and I wish that you trusted me enough to tell me to my face. Maybe you leaving is the right thing to do, no, I know you leaving is the right thing for you and I. We have grown too much alike and need time to ourselves to grow and live and love so that we have more to share with each other. I’m sorry we aren’t talking, I’m sorry you can’t tell me what is on your mind, I’m sorry I can’t be what I was before. I know you are sorry too.

You are perfect in every sense of the word and I know that this could not be further from the truth, but whether it be timing or luck, something is to come of this. I don’t want to be scared of every single person that I meet, though I have not yet been given reason not to be. Maybe you don’t know it but you are holding my heart in your hands and with the slightest twitch you might break it. You say things I hope you mean, because I hang on every word you speak, and keep them in the back of my mind at all times wishing I had stories like yours to tell. I want to make you happy, I want to be there for you, I want to show you that there is so much more to this world then what you think you deserve.